Day One in the ‘Eating Healthily to Avoid Early Heart Failure’ series.

Monday. Mid-March. Sunshine? What on earth.. Not only is the sun shining, but it’s about 18˚C. Not massively warm, but for early spring in the UK? We’re doing pretty well.

It’s also the time of year when deadlines are rapidly approaching. And therefore the time of year that I decide to kick-start a healthy living regime. Naturally. Am I insane? Probably. But if I keep it up then maybe this summer won’t be quite as horrific as those previous..

Anyway, kitchen times. I spent a few days at home with the family this week, (which resulted in a stressful train journey home) and as is often the case when the mother and I get together, spent most of those days in the kitchen. Inspired by her many many cookbooks, and by the fact that the brother has turned into a better cook than me, I’ve decided to inject more kitchen time into my life. Not only will it result in the consumption of healthier, tastier food, it will also serve as a fantastic tool of procrastination when I should be writing dissertations. So, day one in the eating-healthily-to-avoid-early-heart-failure series:

Sunny lunchtime..

Fresh salmon baked with herbs and whole garlic cloves, with a beetroot and spinach salad, topped with feta cheese and homemade honey-mustard dressing. Healthy eating can be pretty looking. And pretty tasting.

This seems to be my new favourite anti-sleep pastime..(Plus there’s a spider in my bed, so sleep *really* isn’t going to happen soon)

Because apparently I really have turned into a vampire. Well, y’know, minus the whole blood-sucking aspect. (Although friendling decided I look like one of the vamps in new Twilight film. I haven’t seen it yet, but pretty sure there are worse people to be compared to?) But aside from that.. This insomnia thing is a real blast. I have even more hours in the day, mainly due to the father waking me up at stupid o’clock for no real apparent reason.. Add that to lack of sleep, and I’m practically awake constantly. Yay for vampire-isms. (Ps. Just a quick note for you Twilight fans.. My skin doesn’t sparkle in the sun, and I can’t run at the speed of light. I do need to breathe, and necrophilia isn’t my thing. I love food more than wet weather, and really really don’t like blood.)

Okay, that was a lie. Today early rising was necessary.. (Not the vamp stuff. That’s totally true) Basically, I’ve managed to involve myself with that beautiful make-up stuff, all over again. I’m just clever like that. This time it’s for the old school’s production of Oliver, a musical I know inside out (literally) due to being involved in a production my dad directed a few years ago. Now, the make-up’s pretty standard – pale base and gothic-y eyes for the workhouse, and dirty for fagin’s gang. While the girls, obviously, just have to look like toned-down tarts – fantastic. *Being* in the actual school though? Woah. Well that’s weird..

I already (within a morning) would need two hands to count the number of “Are you Sam’s sister..?” conversations I’ve had. (It’s not even as though we look alike..) As well as the generic “Where are you at uni? Are you studying drama? Like it?!” bullshit small talk. I don’t do small talk. I should really just get tee shirts printed – ‘Yes, I’m his sister’ and ‘Drama Student, Brighton. Stop me and ask me how.’ – because I’m sure that’d answer their questions upfront. Efficiency. That’s what we like to see.. Plus, the school itself is seriously bizarre. There’s suddenly this huge futuristic-style science building where the car park was. That’s different. And surreal. Oh so surreal.. There are kids I taught a couple of years ago at a primary, *PRIMARY*, school drama club (note, they were 10), who are now parading around as drunken slappers?! That’s just wrong dudes.. I can’t give them bright red lipstick! They’re like, mini people. Weird..

On the plus side, I’ve so far managed to avoid bruises. I know, I know what you’re thinking.. It’s early days. But hey, I may be able to make it. An entire week with no bruises? Oh wow, that’d be a challenge and a half.

I swear I’ve become a whole new person since Uni-fying myself. A whole new person who centres around being clumsy! Am really not 100% sure how exactly I manage to do it. Who else could turn around and elbow a door frame? Or punch the floor? Or knee their wardrobe within a minute of standing on a plug and dropping a hair dryer on their foot? Yeah.. I’m a genius. My parent’s must be *so* proud.

The end of an exceptionally expensive year..

So here we have it. The final post to ever be written from room 20J. Huh.. Weird.

I’m sat in the middle of an almost empty room (taking down *the wall* was a mission) trying to work out if it was always this big? And why there’s an iron burn on the carpet. Or blu-tack on the ceiling.

It’s kinda strange to be fair, for a year this little room was the centre of it all, and now? Now it’s all squashed into stolen market boxes and bin liners. A sad state of affairs. Well, for today at least.. Next year I get to move in with two absolute crazies who (Occasionally. Oh, very occasionally) make me look sane. And I can introduce them to all the wonderful things House 20 has brought into my life.. Like, um, ooh cake baking. Always. And impromptu chocolate rice krispie cakes. And that I actually quite like washing up. (God I’m gonna make an amazing mum one day..) Sarcasm is a part of every day life. No question. Oh, and that singing is essential when in the kitchen. Or bathroom. Or stairs. Okay, anywhere and everywhere really.. That I’ll be covered in bruises by the end of the first week because apparently I’m not actually aware of where my limbs end, and that stairs are lethal, and mean, and pick on me.

Yeah.. Who thought letting me live on my own was a clever plan? Genius. Really. Aha, you’re in for a treat FHMs my lovelies.. Oh indeed.

It’s been a good last week though. Beautiful in fact. (Well, if we forget about the King of all hangovers earlier in the week.. Minor detail.) Spontaneous card-playing soirees, free ice-tea and free ice-cream, prawning on the beach and pre-Birthday celebrating. Karaoke and fancy dress times, easily the fave. Plus being Jessica Rabbit for an evening was fab. Yuh-huh.

If Jessica Rabbit did karaoke. And lost her gloves..

But for now it’s ‘So long House 20. It’s been an interesting year..’, and let’s introduce the Mother and the Brother to the FHMs.. Aha *claps hands gleefully*.

It would appear that my initials fail at life..

Apparently having a J/B party wasn’t the best idea in the world. It’s 5 days away and we’re still schtumped for clothing. The shortlists are in fact getting shorter and shorter as creativity gives way to practicality. Or plausibility in most cases. It’s actually not hugely possible to dress as a jammy dodger. Funny that.. I’ve never known a theme discussion take up valuable ‘watching-movie-time’. It was intense. (And the background music was an beautiful clash of tunes.)

And amid all this fancy dress confusion, there’s the daunting prospect of packing up the bedroom into currently non-existent boxes. The FHM was right. I should have had a ‘Box Party’. With a ‘leave boxes in hall when you go’ clause included. Then I’d be fine.. Aw crap. This is my last weekend of ever living on campus. Blimey that’s surreal.. So surreal. It’s like one of those ‘if-I-don’t-think-about-this-it’s-never-going-to-happen’ moments that actually do always happen, and always seem to come around a lot faster than they should have done because you were really hoping they wouldn’t. Yep. It’s deffo one of those.

Oh, and I’m really hungry.. Like the caterpillar.

Huh, hello Summer..

Blimey. Where exactly has the past year gone?? I’m pretty sure it was only a couple of days ago I was contemplating the life of all those Butterflies in my stomach and trying to work out if I could actually be scared of them if they were on the inside.. And yet, here I am. Made it. Huzzah. Lived through the first year of Uni. Didn’t hate the housemates. Managed to eat successfully. Didn’t quite fail the year. Didn’t actually get around to performing at all. Didn’t get a job. Oh crikey.. Hopefully second year will bring a slightly cheerier of ends. Having said that of course this year’s been bloody grand. Met new housemates (crazy fools like myself), Managed to actually make it to the beach before the year was out, Taught several skeptics the true joy of baking, Chopped all the hair off – eventually, Become a ‘regular’ at one of the most awesome vintage shops in’t world, Gained several new nicknames.. The list goes on. So maybe this year hasn’t been a complete failure, maybe. (:

Although I’m not entirely sure how I went through a whole year and still haven’t found a coffee shop with big squishy armchairs. C’mon Brighton, hit me up!

Oh and also, summer? Not looking so summery. “Hello rain my name’s Jess and you’ve just spent the last year ruining every single pair of shoes I own, so hey, I have an idea, bugger off!” Yeah, like it’ll listen to that. If only, right? What happened to that super hot weather we had in April, y’know the time when the imobile was nabbed, and the first tan lines appeared?? And oh my life I’ve just become a true British conform.. The weather?! Geez, would’ve liked to think I could find something slightly more interesting to chat about. Ooh okay, got one…

My birthday. Clearly the best day. In. The. Year. No question about it.. So what if I’m the baby of the group (always), I’ll be the last one to reach 40! Aha. Get’s them every time.. Anyway, yes. It shall be a blast. Well, I hope so.. And if no-one turns up I’ll just spin around in circles until passing out offers the only alternative. That’s a good plan.. Yes? Well, no. Not if like me you have a phobia of fainting. Then it’s just a ridiculous plan that’s never going to happen, and you’ll just sit there feeling sick and dizzy for a good 20 minutes before shouting at yourself for having such a dumb idea. That’s the realistic ending..

Anyway, off for coffee shop hopping times in the blustery wind and potential rain. Oh Brighton, I do love you. Hello, summer!!

Being poorly means I can finally catch up with myself.

Oh dear t’internet. I do apologise. I appear to have been neglecting you. Or rather, neglecting my t’internet tendencies. If it helps, I’m ill. Although I don’t really know how that helps anyone other than pharmacies, cause let’s be honest, they’re the only ones who profit from others’ illness.

So it’s been a strange couple of weeks:

-The hair ran away. But it looks pretty good, so I’m not gonna be putting any ‘Have you seen..’ posters out.

-The housemate dislocated her kneecap. Cause she’s a genius. And we spent just over 4 hours in A&E until 6 in the morning. Cause we’re silly people who wouldn’t listen when she told us to go. Really should’ve listened to her. It was a bizarre evening. In the pjs. In the hospital. 2 phones and 2 sets of keys between 4 of us. Roughly 20p, about enough for a third of a coffee. Fab.

-Ventured home. That was a good ‘un. There was sun – so much sun. And friendlings. And pubs. And a rubber duck race (which just about made my life). Oh I like the ‘shire.

-Ooh yeah, and all work was handed in. Now have 1 exam next week and I’m free! Which is a bloody scary thought. Like, super-duper scary. Where exactly has this year gone?


Again motivation, must you take a holiday during essay week?!

Oh very big dear. That’s how the week’s started. With a crash (of the housemate’s peanut butter. But that’s another story..). Motivation is lacking. Stress is high. And classes are ending, which you’d think would be a good thing, but it’s just a reminder that the year is nearly over. (A thought that is so bloody scary it’s almost laughable.) Oh and the internet sucks. I asked for tea several hours ago.. Am still waiting Twitter.

But in the meantime, what do we do? We wack on the Glee soundtrack, grab several bags of monster munch (oh they make me happy) and snuggle up on the comfiest chair we own with a huge book of drama geek stuff. Oh blimey drama geek stuff isn’t as easy as it sounds. Nuh-uh. 4 hours of work has resulted in a whole 98 words of an introduction. Genius. Only another 1400 to go..

Of course there has been procrastination, oh look at that I’m procrastinating now! I’m sure it’s made all the better by the fact that I’m aware of it, right? Meh.. We’ve attacked the wall with photos. Which does in fact look beautiful, if I do say so myself. So what if it’s only going to be there for another few weeks.. It’s a reminiscent wall. And we’ve discussed hair cuts (We’re female okay. Sometimes girlie talk does actually occur!). Radical change may be on the cards. In fact almost an hour was spent debating face shapes.. Yay for a square face!

Right, so as Twitter is refusing to make tea, guess I’ll actually have to get up. Grr at you Twitter. That’s all I have to say to you. Grr..

Today’s the day of super huge socks. Oh aye indeed..

Wednesday. The day that follows Tuesday. Funny that..

Always a good day Wednesday. Probably because Tuesday’s are always (without fail) so ridiculously shite that Wednesday can only ever be an improvement. Plus, today started with large socks. Thick, fluffy socks. A beauty of an invention, I’m sure you’ll agree. Especially in halls, where it’s cold when it should be hot, and hot when it should be cold. Oh blimey..

Actually, to be fair, there was definitely a crappy moment in the middle of the day. When the Asda people  forgot to ring me so I had to ring them, and then they said they couldn’t deliver until tomorrow. Screaming happened. As soon as the phone was hung up. It was a fun moment I assure you. Ha.

But anyhow, aside from the little scream in the middle of the day, Wednesday has been grand. I received a letter from Gordon Brown asking me to vote labour. Ta for that Gordy.. And ate pasta twice in one day. A huge achievement right there. Ooh, and the nails are a different colour. Oh yes, I’m just raking in the productivity.

Or I’m just a professional in the procrastination department. Which is, let’s be honest, more likely.

Tonight am off to see the second year drama student’s final performance. Which is weird as that’ll be me next year. An exceptionally daunting prospect, especially if this next year goes as uber-fast as this one has. Oh god I’m gonna have to be a grown-up. Like, a real one. I don’t like these thoughts. The ones where being a child is no longer acceptable and you have to have responsibilities and scary jobs and all that jazz. Oh dear..

One of those really, really annoying groups that exists purely as a result of some bastard running off with my phone.

Oh my life. I am actually going to have to make one of those god-awful facebook groups. This thought alone fills me with dread. And then to have to update new phone (when/if the insurance peeps come through..) with stupid amount of numbers? Oh dear. Oh very very big dear..

So yesterday was awesome, actually. Until the five minutes it took me to walk from the ticket barrier to the train, during which time someone nabbed my phone out of my bag. Fucker.

No seriously. It was sunny, unbelievably sunny (there was no breeze), munched chish and fips on the beach – followed by ice-cream. Of course. And shopping occurred. Which is always a good thing. Nothing beats retail therapy (: Especially when you find a fancy dress costume that not only makes you look good (if I do say so myself..) but will be totally acceptable to wear on other occasions. Love it.

Oh! And there are finally other people on campus. So it’s no longer a ghost town, which was definitely bizarre. And eerie.. Really really strange actually, especially as I kept hearing doors slamming in the house. Seriously, when you’re almost 100% sure that you’re the only one in house 20, and then the doors start slamming?! Oh my life, it’s not wonder I didn’t really leave my room on Friday! I’m so *not* a ghost person.. Vampires? Sure. But ghosts? Nuh-uh.

I have to say though, some people’s comments in reply to my loss of telemobile absolutely made my day.. Like the nice train man who let me use his phone to call Orange: “They don’t know, just lie. I’d have said I had an iPhone” Me: “I *did* have an iPhone”. Or a beautiful suggestion of hiring ninjas to lynch the fucker! I liked that one.. One of the worst things is probably the loss of photos. I’m one of those crazy fools who never backs up her telephone pics! Well, that just bit me in the arse! Luckily did save the London Fashion Week ones. Phew.. But lost all Bowling For Soup and random friendling get-togethers. Not cool. Oh yeah, and the fact that I actually don’t know anyone’s numbers. Like, at all. So am officially communication-less (excluding t’internet of course), which I don’t think I’ve been for about 5 years. Ouch..

Oh well, I guess that’ll serve me right for being one of those not in the slightest uncommon people who rely on (and are possibly addicted to) technology. Oh man..

Let’s play catch-up..

Another week gone by, another bloggable few days in the life of yours truly. Okay fine, so it may have been more than a week. And yes, not every day during that time was full of blog worthy material. But spending a fair amount of time with fussy stage mothers, drama queens (of all varieties), potential boybands, ‘long-time-no-see’ friends, and so on and so forth.. And well, actually you find yourself thinking that on occasion your life would be so much better suited to a soap tv show, or the like..

So this past week, I have in fact been painting faces. All over again.. And I bloody loved it. Oxford Youth Music Theatre (aka. OYMT), with whom I performed in Fiddler on the Roof last April, put on an absolutely incredible production of Beauty and the Beast last week. I mean seriously, if it wasn’t for the slight technical glitches, and the fact that I personally know the majority of the cast, I could’ve been watching a professional production. Don’t think I’ve ever experienced emotions like that from a musical – tears, goosebumps, hysterical laughter.. The works! Plus it was all made a whole lot better by the fact that I was involved in the make-up scene backstage. You remember my West Side Story oompa-loompa skin colour tantrums?! Well, B and the B was a whole other kettle of fish. You’ve got grizzly, growly beasts; real-life inanimate objects; not to mention that Disney ‘glow’.. It was awesome. The worst part was the stage mothers! Only because they ‘fuss’. And sometimes, when you’re backstage on a show, you need less fuss and more productive action. I swear so many things could take half the time if people didn’t fuss! Arggh!! Ooh and don’t get me started on the fickleness of thespians. Gosh no, darling.. *rolls eyes exaggeratedly*

Anyway, despite the mothers, the show was definitely a success. Although any show that has professional West End hired costumes, and features the brother howling like a wolf in a pair of my leggings definitely gets two hugely enthusiastic thumbs up from my corner!

Prior to my hands becoming paint palettes, all over again, I spent a day in London with the father, as he returned to his music photography days, and I got lumbered with the ‘Bag Lady’ title. Gee, thanks.. Nah it was a pretty awesome day. The band, Inju5tice, comprised of five very sweet guys, who despite being unsigned seemed really enthusiastic about the whole music scene. Especially about bringing traditional boyband ‘pop’ back. (No complaints from me there..)

The friendlings dragged me  out last night, in my sorry-excuse-for-a-female attire – is it possible to forget how to dress for a night out due to lack of situation?! Anyway, yes, I currently own a hermit like social status (mainly as a result of my make-up coated hands, etc..) and so have not seen anyone in the entire time I’ve been home. Those whole two and a half weeks have just flown by! Aha.. But last night was an adventure, to say the least. Experienced parts of Oxford I can honestly say I’ve never even realised existed before. How is that possible y’know? When you live somewhere for a pretty decent percentage of your life, like oh, nearly all of it, but you still manage to find places you’ve never been before? Strange. It’s very strange..

But still.. That’s been my life. Well for the past two weeks anyway. Cause I’m a cool kid like that. The rest? Well, that’s history right? Plus I’ve heard that girls are meant to have secrets.. Apparently mystery is enticing?! Meh. So I’m gonna go, and be mysterious. Or something..