15 reasons why procrastination is clearly a better use of your time than whatever it is you’re actually supposed to be doing..
1. My wall *did* actually need all those magazine clippings plastered across it. Now when people walk past my almost-wide-open door they say ‘Ooh I like your wall..’ and it’s a fabulous starting point of discussion. Hence, making me little-miss-friendly, with my open door and talking point. Plus it is actually a great story involving me, a box full of drawing pins, an unfortunate stack of magazines and a clock reading 2.30am. Hells yeah. Welcome to the life of a student. This is how we *really* spend our nights..
2. My room no longer ever resembles the aftermath of an atom bomb explosion. Serious. I know, it’s crazy, this is *me* I’m talking about.. And yet somehow my little box room is in fact the tidiest in the building. Total shocker.. Essays may take over three times as long as they really should, but.. my entire house can fit comfortably in my room for a round of ring of fire. And really, what more could you want as a fresher?
3. It was indeed a matter of life and death that I run (yes, run) to the shop to buy them out of chocolate before they close (at 10pm.. Nice shop.) so that I can consume my body weight in sugary goods to keep me nice and jittery during essay writing. Cause really, this is a good state to be in when 70% of your module grade depends on it. Totally.
4. Do polar bears really cover their noses when they stalk their seal prey? Well, I would’ve simply believed that yes they do.. (This is where the genius hobby of procrastination comes into it..) And yet, according to my trusty pal google, there is in fact debate as to whether they do or not! Shocking.. I’d just ask the polar bears personally. I’m sure they’re perfectly willing for a good natter now and again. Poor polar bears, the topic of debate and no-one asks their opinion. Y’know, next time I meet one I’ll ask and we’ll sort this out once and for all. *Watch this space*
5. Reading other people’s blogs is a crucial necessity if I plan to educate myself in the ways to write eloquently, (can you tell I’m an English student?) and achieve the ability to bullshit my way out of anything. So in all honesty, it is entirely Jenny the Bloggess’ fault that my essay is still incomplete. Or at least it would be if she didn’t provide me with such entertainment.. So apologies Jenny, it’s really not your fault, in fact you inspire me to keep on being that little bit not normal.. I knew there were people like me out there..
6. The ability to debate is clearly a crucial skill to have. And as a potential future employee to someone out there, surely it’s a good ‘un to put on my CV. Y’know, transferable skills and all that malarkey.. So, actually those 10+ debates I had over the importance of this year’s Christmas No. 1 were in fact a life changing moment for me. And I really should thank Jenni and the others for their impact on my debating skills. Hugs for you guys..
7. Scientific experiments are good for you. Especially when they involve flicking the light-switch over and over again to watch your computer screen dim and brighten in the different lights. Definitely a productive use of my time.
8. Yes. It was entirely necessary for me to try on every single item in my wardrobe in order to create the best ‘oh-this-is-just-something-I-threw-on-this-morning-without-really-putting-much-thought-or-effort-into-it’. Because seriously, I need to stop doing that. Just throwing things on in the morning without putting much thought into it. I come back after the first lecture of the day and think “Oh sweet lord what was I thinking when I decided to actually leave the house like this?!” Answer: I wasn’t. But then I can’t change before my next class, because that would be seriously vain and uncool. And I’m neither of those. Well, actually that’s a lie, I’m seriously uncool.. But that’s totally not the point. What was my point? Oh right, it was crucial that I decorate my room with clothes in order to create several combinations. Although more than likely I will have forgotten them the next time I need to ‘throw’ an outfit together.
9. Twilight fanfiction. Do it. In fact, I’ll make it easy for you.. Click here.
10. Dancing around the room to Christmas songs is a one-month-a-year kind of activity. Do not waste time. It is an activity to be taken with the utter most seriousness.. Until of course you start dancing (and singing along, with the stereo cranked up to stupid volume) and then you may want to rethink your genius plan of leaving the door unlocked so that your housemates can just wander in and stare open-mouthed at your ever-so-slightly-eighties-inspired-dance-moves for god knows how long.
11. Discovering new likes is character building. Or something like that. Or have I just made that up? Anyway, I totally never would have known that I actually like red wine. At least if it weren’t for the last half hour. Blimey. Apparently pigs do fly.
12. Pitta bread pizzas have become my new favourite thing since the discovery of apple juice. Seriously. Why did no-one introduce me to these wonders before?! Pure genius.. Super cheap. And easy. Love it..
13. I can feed my surfing tendencies. Hello internet addiction..
14. One word: Farmville. Damn you facebook. Damn you graffiti-boy-housemate. Damn you cute little ugly ducklings and ever growing soy beans. Damn you and your addictiveness. At least I know I could work it as a farmer. Well, as long as I got super cute wellies and a new hat for each day of the week.. That’d be awesome.
15. This is a good ‘un right here..
In my awesomely fat pink pen.