Don’t text talk. It makes me want to attack you with cutlery.

“yea uu shud deffo cum up sumtme soon”

I actually just received this text.

What the fuck people? You’re 20, you no longer have any right to write like a plonker. Not even teeny boppers have any real right to, but they do it to make them “cool”, so y’know..

As an English student who gets a ridiculous pleasure from word play I dread opening texts sometimes, knowing full well that the content will be illegible to the majority of people with a brain. Possibly even worse is the fact that actually it seems to come naturally to those with only half a brain (if that). Almost as though they’re creating their own little language in order to overthrow the English language.

Yes, I have an active imagination. But also, I have a point.

Text speak is ridiculous. A lot of the time the abbreviations could mean any number of things and you spend stupid amounts of time trying to decipher every message you receive. Also, the inability to construct sentences and form a decent writing structure is becoming more and more common amongst people my age and younger. It’s worrying.

It immediately makes me think of young girls who have nothing better to do with their time but sit around outside hmv. Or footballers. Gross generalisation, yes. But all my male, football playing friends text talk. BAD.

Also, it makes me judge you. I shouldn’t admit to that, but it’s true. Every message you send to me containing text talk lowers my estimation of you. And eats me up a little inside. I should really find better people to talk with, there will literally be nothing left inside of me at this rate.

I can sort of understand it when mobiles have limited number of characters, but facebook and email?! Takes the piss. Twitter is designed to limit characters used, and it shows skill when you can still construct sentences containing all you want to say using less than 140 characters. I mean, changing ‘and’ to ‘&’? Yeah, I’ll give you that. But anything else is a massive no-no.

So, feel free to send me messages, emails, texts and tweets. But if they contain text talk? Expect flying cutlery in the post.

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2 thoughts on “Don’t text talk. It makes me want to attack you with cutlery.

  1. There’s no excuse for text talk, even in texts. Unlimited monthly texts and virtually limitless lengths make it inexcusable.

    I can’t believe I’m getting this worked up. I sound like I’m writing into the Daily Mail. ‘Inexcusable’? The fuck?

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