This time last year I was just hours away from the most terrifying car journey of my life. By 8 o’clock tomorrow morning the car was packed tight with boxes and bags, and duvet strategically squished between me and the brother. That car journey was probably the most awkward two and half hours I’ve ever spent in such close confinement with the family. Trying to mentally prepare myself for the coming craziness, as well as attempting to appear calm and unfazed by the fact that I was effectively leaving home, something that has plagued me with fear ever since I can remember..
It’s so bizarre to think that tomorrow will see hordes of anxious and excited people (my age) embarking on that life changing journey from home to the beginning of the rest of their lives. The fact that that was me only 12 months ago gives me a serious case of goosebumps. So much has happened in the past year, that it’s insane even trying to predict what the next two years will bring. People have always said that your university years go fast, but I never realised they were so intent on racing past and catching you up in their wake.
Sometimes the mere action of sitting down and letting this year catch me up fills me with dread, almost as if the act of doing it will make everything actually real. It’s one of those things where you know that life is happening, but you’re waiting for it to become real.
Recently it was mentioned just how much I’ve achieved or been involved in in only 19 years, and how incredible that fact is. To me it’s never really seemed that way. Maybe because my life has never followed set patterns, and has always been strangely surreal and unpredictable, I’ve never become caught out or overly involved in something, be it the most unbelievable experience, or most mundane and straightforward scenario, I tend to take things as they come. Whilst, yes, I panic over the most ridiculous ideas or thoughts, I also have a very straightforward approach and never become engrossed in life. If it makes sense I almost feel detached from most situations. As though they’re unreal and therefore not something to dwell on. In my opinion this is why I’ve been able to achieve as I have, I rarely allow myself to become intimidated by a situation. Socially, yes all the time. But professionally or logically? Never.
I seem to have gone off on a tangent, as I initially intended to blabber on about fresher’s and the daunting experience of an entirely new situation.. Something I don’t envy the new students for. I couldn’t go through Fresher’s Week again. Never. Unless you maybe paid me an awfully large amount of money..
PS. London Fashion Week and Moving House posts to follow. This was just playing on my mind this evening..