The week the makeup attacked me, I wore more black than a particularly depressed goth, and gained RSI from sponges. Oh, and I infiltrated the fashion world. Just for fun y’know..

Time flies. They say that right? I’ve gotta say, I never really believed it, but seriously. After the past two weeks.. Oh my life does time fly. I go home in three weeks. Three weeks?! How have I been in Brighton that long? And more importantly, how have I avoided home for the past two months. That’s no fun.. (And I should really stop attacking the brother with water works every time we talk. Poor boy.. His ears must be sick of my tears..)

Okay, let’s be honest. We know where the past two weeks went. Or at the very least *I* do, which is probably a relatively good thing. I’ve heard memory loss isn’t the most desirable in the world.. But they could just be saying that?

So let’s start at the beginning (it’s a good place to start, no?). West Side Story, that wonderful time where I pretended to know something about makeup, turned every male in the cast into an oompa-loompa, and gained far too many bruises for it to be healthy. Not that bruises are generally healthy, but y’know.. If I have one piece of advice to myself from this show? Never, and I do mean never, think it’s a good idea to use glass-bottled-foundation. It forces you to hit yourself repeatedly with thick glass. Really. Who thought that was a good plan..? The colour of my hand, even after the tango-ed look had gone, well, I gave gone-off-plums a run for their money on interesting colour award. No shit.

And did I mention that I’m clumsy? No. Well, I’m not exactly the most un-accident-prone person this side of the moon.. And there were stairs. And back stage. And general scenery. And it was messy.. Oh so messy. But, on the plus side, having the makeup area next to the boys dressing room? Well, whoever thought that one through deserves a hug. Not gonna lie..

Moving on then.. LFW. The most incredible yet exhausting experience of my life. I kid you not.. But people weren’t lying when they said I was crazy. The whole intense-6-show-after-party-straight-into-fashion-show thing?? Yeah.. Wouldn’t advise it. No..

Two hours sleep. Makeup smudged on at the station. No caffeine or food for a good 20 hours. Best plan I’ve ever had.. As fellow smutian said “how are you alive?!” (Dictionary definition moment – Smutian: A member of Sussex University Musical Theatre Society. Aka SMuTS)

Aquascutum. Beautiful name. Beautiful show. So I hear.. 5 hours spent steaming sheets and then I hid upstairs for the duration. Still, I was officially the walking dead that day, and steaming ain’t no easy job. I’ll tell you that one for free.. Seeing Sienna Miller in the evening was pretty random though. I was not expecting that one, not gonna lie.. Stupidly skinny woman. With amazing shoes. And that’s possibly about all I could tell you about her..

Jaeger show I actually saw. Amazing experience, I’m sure you don’t forget your first fashion show. And the hats?! Oh. My. Life. The hats.. I could’ve cried. If I weren’t so conscience of the fact that The Saturdays were directly opposite me in the audience, next to a ridiculously beautiful (anonymous) male. Shame.. Especially as I’m really not their hugest fans. But y’know, it was something to taunt the male housemates with, so.. Tis all good.

And the Love Ball. Natalia Vodianova. Beautiful, beautiful person. Looks about my age – how does she have an eight year old son? This confuses me immensely.. But I can deal with that just from memory of her dress. What a stunner. And she dealt with the fire alarm incident particularly well. Picture it though.. 1000 guests just having seated for dinner, after we’d spent the last half hour frantically sorting out those bloody bidding cards! And they’re all asked to vacate. The amount of woman in near-to-no clothing complaining about the cold, and “I’m not going outside, do they know who I am?”. If there had actually been a fire? Wow..

But nonetheless, the evening was, I’m sure, a success. If the art work being auctioned is anything to go by. I could actually have passed out when the words “And the bidding shall begin at £10,000” were uttered. Serious money going on there..

The highlight of my evening was clearly seeing both of the parents’ favourite singers in one night – Cat Stevens (or should I say Yusuf Islam) and Sharleen Spitteri were phenomenal. And yeah Leona Lewis and Paloma Faith were pretty good n’ all.. I was just clearly born in the wrong era.

What with packing, tagging, counting, moving, emptying 425 goodie bags, and being involved in a pap chase with Kate Moss, the night was surreal as, well actually I can’t think of anything quite so bizarre.. Running around with bidding cards for Vivienne Westwood, Leona Lewis, Piers Morgan and Matthew Williamson was way up there to be sure.. But the whole 30 second eye contact with probably the most influential model of the past decade? That was awesome. Even if her shoes weren’t..

So all in all? An amazing, intense, emotionally and physically exhausting, surreal and a half couple of weeks. And what better way to end it? A scheduled break down.. Oh tomorrow will be fun.

*Several people need thanks for this fortnight of sheer and utter exhaustion. The Uncle for giving me a bed (and easily the best night’s sleep for a good 6 months), Kensi for reminding me of home even at the most surreal and overwhelming of moments, and Miss Loveday for the experience of a lifetime.. Ta you lovely people.*


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s