All about the time I failed an audition and got lumbered with everything else..

Remember that time when I epic-ly failed an audition? Which time? Aha.. Oh you think you’re so funny.. Well, remember how I then agreed to get involved with helping backstage, because y’know I haven’t done anything like that before and it would be a really good experience for someone wanting to be involved in theatre.. And then remember how I agreed to help out a little bit with makeup cause I’ve done bits before and enjoy it? Nope? Did I not tell you that bit? Oh. Well.. Now guess who’s *in charge* of the entire hair and makeup for Sussex University Musical Theatre Society’s production of West Side Story? Uh-huh.. You guessed it. Moi.

Genius.

In all honesty it is actually super exciting, and will be another useful little credit to attach to my cv. But really, this week is already more than stressful enough.. Even just helping out backstage I’m required at every rehearsal and show (for obvious reasons), but now I actually have pressure on my weak little shoulders. If a piece of set is in the wrong place? It could be any one of a number of us. Okay, 5 of us, but still.. If someone looks like shite onstage. That’s all down to me. Okay, again only sort of, but it adds to my current state of panic to think that.

Technically I’m ‘in charge’ of hair and makeup. What this actually means of course is that I’ll give the majority of the cast (the scales are desperately tipped to the advantage of the girls) an idea of what they should look like, and then they’ll go off and do something completely different that’s more up their street. That’s just what girls are like. At any age. Unless they’re seriously dedicated, they’d rather look pale with undefined eyes onstage (and to the audience), than be orange and panda-like backstage, and in front of the rest of the cast. Because, y’know, in a production it’s way more important for you to look your best *offstage*. Of course. So really I’ll only be responsible for the main cast, and the guys. Oh the guys. Bless their little socks. I’ve come to find with men and the stage, that if you act like you know what you’re doing, they’ll shy away, complain, wriggle.. And then they really do end up resembling punk rock gone wrong. If you simply grab them whilst brandishing an eye-liner? Sorted. They’re so terrified you’ll stab their eye out if they so much as breathe, that actually they’re better recipients than the girls.

Wow. This actually sounds like I have experience in make-up. If I just embrace this feeling of cynical confidence (at guys’ terror, and girls’ ‘I-know-best’ attitude) then hopefully my bundled up nerves won’t make themselves known for the rest of the week. Oh god I hope so.

On another note. Again, one in which I actually sound like I know what I’m talking about. The director told me yesterday that she’d already spent some of the budget on 4 foundations and red lipstick. £100 worth. I swear she must have seen me pick my jaw up from the floor.. Who, and I do mean *who*, buys MAC make-up a) for the stage, and b) for a cast of 34?! You could get all that for less than a tenner. Oh dear. Oh very very big dear..

Now don’t go thinking I’m knocking my director. Or *the* director. Or whatever.. I simply think that she should have probably reconsidered buying a relatively expensive brand to smother on 34 peoples’ faces. 7 times.

Don’t cha’ think?

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