When in doubt describe your life through Nickelback lyrics. It works. Seriously.

“Here comes the next contestant.. There goes the next contestant”

That pretty much sums up my love-life right now. How sad. I mean yes, okay, if we’re gonna be technical about it then I *did* say that I didn’t want to start up a new relationship in the last couple of months before I left for Uni. Especially as I’ve had *so* much luck in relationships before. I mean really, why do I always attract the slightly (that could be an understatement) clingy, slightly (this could also be an understatement) too vulnerable guys that seem to think they’re ‘in love’ after 3 months. God, that makes me sound awful. I’m not a heartless bitch. Honest. But regardless of my heartless bitch status, it seems unfair and downright mean that the ‘powers that be’ would decide to throw a stupid number of single, attractive, and *interested* guys my way at a time when I don’t bloody well want a relationship! Is it just me? Or does that seem stupidly unfair? Exactly.

Back to the Nickelback song then. Every time I’m out and about, either alone or with fellow female friendlings etc. I have to stand there and watch the ‘next contestant’ come and go.. Because a) I’m not brave enough to just ‘live vicariously’ as ‘best friend’ tells me I should be doing. (I feel the need to point out that ‘best friend’ is in the middle of a 3 year long-term relationship, and therefore shouldn’t really be listened to as she doesn’t know what it’s like to be single and available in times like these.. Although unfortunately I love her to pieces and therefore end up ‘living vicariously’ *for* her because she’s too bloody loved-up to do it herself! Huh. The things I do for that woman!) and b) I have this really bad track record (as hinted at previously) where I tend to attract horribly clingy, needy, emotionally unstable guys who think that ‘love’ is possible within a couple of months and then proceed to stalk (in the lightest possible use of the word) me for several months post-break-up. It’s not cool. And it’s most certainly not big or clever. So you can kind of understand why I have commitment issues. Or maybe not commitment issues, but relationship issues. Right? Or am I just painting even more of a ‘Cold, Heartless Bitch from Hell’ image of myself.

Oh my life. That’s totally gonna be on my epitaph. Here lies a cold, heartless bitch from hell who was too terrified of commitment to allow anyone close enough to really love them. Gutted.

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