So it’s only just hit me that this ‘date’ I went on might not really class as an actual ‘date’. I’m pretty sure that such a thing should at least end with a kiss? Even if only on the cheek right? But no. Not even that occurred. And I’ve just realised why. We went to see ‘Bruno’. Yes. Sascha Baron Cohen’s ‘Bruno’. As in ‘mister gay icon of the year’ film. And when there’s more homosexual references in the opening 10 minutes than in an entire day spent with my ‘gay-best-friend-who’s-not-really-my-best-friend-but-it-would-be-awesome-if-he-was-because-then-I-could-call-him-my-gay-best-friend’, I should really have gathered that it wasn’t exactly first-date material..
But then, who defines what counts as first-date material? I mean is there someone somewhere, who goes through every possible action in the human world, and probably in extra-terrestrial life too – cause aliens *must* have this issue as well, and decides whether it should be listed in the ‘first date handbook’ or whatever? Cause actually, thinking about it, that would be an uberly awesome job.. You’d get to set the rulings for all code of conduct in the dating network, which would be like Christmas come at once because you could actually make it so that guys at least called when they said they will, and girls won’t flirt cringing-ly or twirl their hair or bat their eyes in a way that can only decrease the respect issued towards the female species. And yes I am aware that I’ve just referred to women as a species, but really if you think about it we must be, cause there’s no real *logic* in the thinking that males and females are the same species cause we’re just too damn different-yet-similar. And I’m going off on yet another one of those wonderful tangents that I seem to do so well..
But back to the whole ‘date’ issue I think I’ve determined that actually ‘Bruno’ doesn’t qualify as suitable first-date material, and therefore it wasn’t actually a *first* date as such, but maybe like a pre-first-date date? Or maybe I’m doing that wonderful female species thing of reading too much into a situation that doesn’t require anywhere near as much reading into because it actually doesn’t mean that much in the great scheme of things. And really I should be focusing my time on creating a first date handbook for those poor aliens, cause I’ve totally got their hopes up with a mere mention of this thing, and haven’t even had the decency to check if it exists. Which it probably doesn’t, cause actually as a race (and yes there are clearly more than one species in this race) we humans are very inconsiderate when it comes to thinking of others, eg. the poor aliens.
So in conclusion, we should totally spare more of our thought time to helping the aliens. And ‘Bruno’ is *not* good first-date material. Nuh-uh.